"Why/How Am I In This Situation (lack of -relationship, job, money, health, happiness?)" 


By Dr. Cindy Brown,

There are many changes happening in our world lately. This can seem challenging and bring about fear and negative thoughts and actions for many people. Reacting to changing situations around us is common and normal for most of us during these times, however it is not always productive in the long-term to stay in constant negativity and fear if you want to move forward an d be more successful. In this article I am going to show you why you may be in the situation you are in, and how you can change it instantly by changing these 3 things…

The most common question I get asked in my private sessions with my coaching clients is- “Why/How Am I In This Situation?” This question can be asked of me regarding, money, career, job, dating, relationships, men, women, marriage, children, happiness…etc!

There are many individual and specific answers and advice I can give to this question, however I find there are THREE common reasons we find ourselves in certain undesirable situations and even some of you may find yourself in them repeatedly! L

Let’s look at THREE of the reasons you may find yourself in the situation you are in…

You Are Focusing on what you don’t want- Whatever we focus on, we draw to us (whether you like or believe in this or not.) Don’t you remember being excited about a specific car you wanted, with certain features, then you saw that car 10 more times that day and week. INSTEAD: Focus on what you want - like professional athletes do like Tiger Woods and gymnasts and skiers do, Tiger visualizes the ball going in the hole, not on losing it or hitting it into the pond.

I teach people who are looking for the “right” mate to focus everyday on the qualities they want to experience and feel with that new partner, instead of fearing you will never find anyone and focusing on being alone. I help people discover and define these qualities they want in a man in my “LIVE” 1-day Event, http://drcindybrown.eventbrite.com/ or you can do this exact exercise available in my new book go get it at http://www.TheCinderellaSystem.com

You Are Holding Onto the Past- Many of you are still holding onto resentments, hurts, anger about past lovers, partners, jobs, bosses, the house you used to live in, the money you used to make, or any situation in the past in a negative way, thus negativity is following you because you haven’t worked through these and let them go. INSTEAD: Allow yourself to think, write and feel thoroughly about these incidents, work with a coach to help you release negative emotions and the unfulfilled fantasy associated with this past situation This work will help you to make room for another better opportunity to come in. If all your emotional space is filled up with negativity, no positive new situation can come into your life to occupy that space.

You Are Staying in Negative Emotions- Many of you continue to exist in the world 24/7 feeling: sad, unhappy, resentful, jealous, feeling like a victim, feeling mad but entitled to everything, feeling left out, feeling unattractive, feeling out of luck, less fortunate, like a waste…these are not emotions that attract people or a lot of good opportunities to you!

Actually there was a recent survey that asked people “what makes them feel attracted or comfortable with others?” The results showed that people were attracted to: Positive Energy, Confidence, a Persons Smile, Clean and Proper Attire, Nice Hair and Make-up-Being Put Together, Healthy Weight, Good Posture, Optimistic Tone, Attitude and Words, people who are Kind and Nice to Others. SO overall this survey concluded that people respond to other people who have positive traits and features- they will offer jobs to these people, help them out more often, be attracted to them physically and romantically, approach them more often and generally want to be around them more than often than negative people.

If you are one of the people who seem to be stuck in this kind of negative swamp (I call it the poopie place) where you are displaying these types of negative and unproductive behaviors, NOT TO WORRY, there is hope for you!  I offer private coaching over the phone and at my offices in Culver City, CA and for women I have an upcoming 1 day event especially designed to help you redesign the inner and outer You So That You Attract more positive people and opportunities into your life.

Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call at 310-202-1610 or email me at drbrown@drcindybrownintl.com so I can support you in having the best life you’ve ever had!

©2009 Dr. Cindy Brown

WOULD YOU LIKE TO USE THIS ARTICLE? You may, as long as you include the following information along with this article: Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cinderella System, helps women to have Healthier Relationships, Love their Bodies, Enjoy Pleasure, learn how to fulfill their needs and live the amazing, happy life they deserve and desire! If you want to attract, have and keep the relationship you really, really want, subscribe now to my award winning weekly online newsletter Relationship Intelligence and get my FR*E Special Report and Audio Class at www.SuccessfulrelationshipsNow.com

 

Spring Cleaning For Your Relationship: Is your relationship Dirty?

What If The Recession IS Good For Us?

What IF The Recession IS Good For US? I see the positive in these changing times. Can you?
By Dr. Cindy Brown, “The Business & Relationship Strategist”

Are you stuck in the rut most Americans are in these days? 

You don’t have to be! Read on…

So it’s your choice whether or not you see and react to the current economic climate, or what the media and government calls “the recession,” in a negative way, or a positive way. I have learned to turn any situation or environment into an opportunity for happiness, new learning and joy. 

Is this something that would be helpful to you right now? 

Are you hooked into the gloom and doom and negative outlook the media shouts at you through your TV and radio? You don’t have to participate in all that. REALLY! I don’t! Instead this is what I see:

(1.) I’ve seen Great Sale prices on almost everything! I’ve been getting deals wherever I shop. I like this recession!

(2.) I’ve been receiving Great Customer Service during these times of change and uncertainty. My bank called me for the first time to talk about my accounts and how they could help me better. It was a very helpful call. Then I was having a document notarized the other day and the person asked me about my insurance and was very helpful and informative. AND Have you noticed you local merchants are more friendly and inviting, smiling at you, giving you the time of the day, even saying your name! I like this recession!

(3.) People are being laid off (some from jobs they disliked, environments that were unhealthy, from bosses they didn’t get along with). Here’s an opportunity for people to get a job they like, work in an environment that’s healthy, Have a job that makes you happy, work for a boss that respects you and you respect her.

(4.) You loose your job or business, you can try something new! You can become an Entrepreneur; start your own home-based business, you will have better tax advantages, more freedom and flexibility. I know! I have been a successful Entrepreneur for over 19 years and have coached many people to create successful businesses as well. Some great examples I see today of businesses doing well in these changing times are- this guy who comes by my office building to detail cars, He did an incredible job; washed the outside and waxed it and did the tires, wow I will be asking him to do it again, only $20.00, he’s doing great business at my office and the building next door, Another example is to become a Virtual Assistant or V.A. for usually small business owners or operators who need some work out sourced (email, phone messages, research, computer stuff, social networking), There are training companies such as www.assistyou.com and teamdoubleclick.com, If you have your own skills you can just start your own business (the pay is $20-$100. 00 and hour depending on your skill level)

(5.) Some businesses do even better during times like these. I saw a news report that said tattoo shops are doing well, so are pawn shops and businesses like my brothers-appraising jewelry, or selling/buying gold and repair shops. I am doing well as a Psychotherapist - lots of people are under stress or have anxiety, sleeping problems or couples are fighting and as a business Coach, I have been helping people to develop their new business ideas and success mind-set.

(6.) People are bartering and /or sharing more. People are learning how to swap services in order to get their needs met. I saw a news story where a man who needed dental work swapped his gourmet restaurant food with his local dentist. The dentist was happy and so was the guy who got $1000’s of dollars worth of dental work done for him. You could like this recession!

(7.) Trading- I saw a news story that showed a new shop that opened recently that allowed people to take an item for free out of the store as long as you brought and item in to leave in the store. They called it sanctioned shop lifting (as long as you also donate a equal or greater valued item.)

(8.) I see less materialism, people are thinking more of –“ Do I really need this?” And “what do I really need to survive”. There could be less waste, more recycling and repairing and sharing. I like this recession! Do you?

(9.) People seem to be asking for help more, this gives others the opportunity to give to them. People really like the opportunity to give, it gives us good feelings, like we are contributing, sharing our resources with others. What the religions have taught us, help thy neighbor! I like this recession!

(10.) Stores, Airplane flights, Hotels, tourist destinations are all less crowded, Yeagh! More room for us, we get better deals on prices and YES better customer service. YES! I LOVE THIS RECESSION!

SO you can see, there really are great opportunities happening during the recession! Instead of being in the gloom and doom and bitching and complaining, why don’t you be part of the “smile a mile club” and see the positive and opportunities presented during changing times. 

Will you take my challenge? Maybe this is a time where old structures must die in order for us all to be happier more loving and connected to each other! Will you take my challenge and  try to see one positive thing each day about these changing times? Please email me with your findings. I will compile another article with your additions.

*Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call 310-202-1610 or email me so I can support you further with developing a positive outlook and behavior that attracts to you success . If you would like a Master this Mindset coaching session contact me NOW!! Anything is possible!

© 2009 Dr. Cindy Brown 



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Behavior and Relationship Specialist and Coach Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cinderella System™ publishes a information-packed monthly online newsletter with 1000's of subscribers. If you're ready to jump-start your life professionally and/or personally, get your FR*E Master This Mindset Starter Kit™ at: http://www.MasterThisMindsetGift.com and your FR*E Special Report & Audio Class now at http://www.SuccessfulRelationshipsNow.com.

Turn Your Stress Into Excitement: Quick Tips to Transform your Negative Attitude & Energy into a Personal Success Economy A.T.M.

“Turn Stress Into Excitement: My 3 Quick Tips to Transform Your Negative Attitude & Energy into a Personal Success Economy-A.T.M.”
By Dr. Cindy Brown, “The Business & Relationship Strategist”

Everyone is talking about “bad” times; the radio news, the TV, your friends, my coaching clients. NOT ME!

Why? Because I know that what I focus on I attract.

Now some people say to me, “Dr. Cindy, aren’t you just in denial or avoiding reality?” NO! That’s Not MY REALITY!

There’s as saying- What you believe you attract. I SAY-What you perceive (how you see the world, how you experience your environment, your world around you) you believe…so you attract just that-what you believe and perceive to be true for you!

So if you believe that the world is going down hill, that you’ll lose your job, run out of money, that you will be homeless, that etc, etc, etc. you may just create that which you are focusing on. Is this what you really want? You sure are spending a lot of time and energy focusing on it!

WHAT IF INSTEAD YOU- spent an equal amount of time or more time and energy than you have wasted watching the gloom and doom in the news on TV, or worrying or thinking of the worst case scenario, and spent this valuable time planning for success, planning for a business or strategy to prevent such crisis or disaster you are imagining is going t happen to you. Focus on what you want, NOT what you don’t want!

You can turn stress into excitement, which attracts success! I show my coaching clients everyday how to do this. I can show you how call me and book a session. My clients come into our coaching sessions with lots of complaints and stories and stress and I show them how to refocus and transform their energy and careers from stress and crisis into success attractors or personal success economies-ATMS.

My 3 Quick Tips- A.T.M.

#1 AWARENESS- You must first become aware what you focus on. Start by monitoring your thoughts, feelings, what you are thinking as you are doing everything. Try to turn off the TV and avoid being around negative or gloom and doom people for awhile. Once you are aware, you now can have to opportunity to choose what you focus on.

#2 TAKE RESPONSIBILITY- Taking responsibility is a certain dedication and care about how you respond to life and how it ultimately effects you and your life outcome. Realize that everything that happens to you, that you attract is directly related to something you did or needed to attract as a life lesson or a gift for your purpose on this earth (Ok I know many of you will be upset with this statement, you can book a session with me and we will discuss how this plays out in your life.) This is true! Believe it and receive it and it will change your life, as it did mine!

#3 MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS – Once you are aware of your thinking, you can become aware of how that negative thinking and that negative focus creates your negative emotions and energy, thus negative results, such as your negative bank balances. Now you have a choice, Do you want stress or excitement? Hmmm? What feels better? Scientific research shows that they are actually similar biological experiences in the body (heart rate increases, shortness of breath, skin flushes, sweating etc.) Do You know what makes the difference in the experience for you? Your Thinking, Which Causes Your Emotions! In other words, your thinking there’s a crisis causes you stress which causes you to see stress which causes you to be stressed which causes negative energy which causes your boss to not like you and fire you etc etc etc!

NOW YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL ATM! NOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE ABOUT HOW TO TURN YOUR STRESS INTO EXCITEMENT AND SUCCESS, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!*

*Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call 310-202-1610 or email me so I can support you further with a Master this Mindset coaching session NOW!!

©2009 Dr. Cindy Brown 



WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Behavior and Relationship Specialist and Coach Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cinderella System™ publishes a information-packed monthly online newsletter with 1000's of subscribers. If you're ready to jump-start your life and professionally and/or personally, get your FR*E Master This Mindset Starter Kit™ at: http://www.MasterThisMindsetGift.com and your FR*E Special Report & Audio Class now at http://www.SuccessfulRelationshipsNow.com.

Why Are You SINGLE? Is it a Choice, or a Result?

I find that women are either very comfortable being single or very unhappy and unsatisfied. A lot of women that I know and I meet complain about being single and dating, or internet dating, or say that there are "no good men left," or the men they do meet are,"this and that and just are not 'right'"! Or women say that they "just are not ready", or they are "not in the right place or the right shape", etc, etc, etc. DOES any of this sound familiar? I find that many of these women continue to do, be and behave the same patterns of behaviors with the same results and continue to complain and feel MISERABLE! Isn't that the definition of "insanity"?

Well it's very sad to me to experience so many unhappy women when there really is a solution! If women, you would just take some moments away from your busy lives AND dating as I did and look inside your house...look inside yourself to see what's going on (on the inside) that could be creating the same result on the outside (no date or the wrong mate). The answers and solutions are awaiting you as long as you are willing to take the journey and exploration as I did, become aware, become conscious of your stuff inside, work with it, keeping some, remodeling or getting rid of some others and learning new things about yourself, learning to accept and manage your inner world and your outer being, so that you can manifest, attract and maintain a loving partnership with yourself and with another. You can live the fairy tale you imagined as a child, as long as you are willing to do what it takes to get yourself in the place to energetically manifest that. I did so let me share with you how...

I grew up dating in High School, then went to college and then met a really great guy and got married at 21 (as many of my friends did back then). We both continued in college and in our loving relationship, having fun, traveling, fixing up houses together, eventually he taking a job in the entertainment industry and I continuing my graduate studies in Psychology. As time passed he started traveling more and working on movies out-of-town for months at a time and so we grew apart. We both decided it would be better if we split-up. We divorced in a friendly way and that's when I really discovered myself.

From that day forward I was on a mission to figure out "who I was?" and "what it was I wanted?" I had a few relationships after I was married that lasted a few years each, and each taught me more about myself. But it was the last relationship where I really noticed an unhealthy pattern that I wanted to break. I decided I would take some time off (It lasted about 5 years) from men, dating and relationships until I felt happy and healthy with myself and I could honestly feel- I didn't "need" a man in my life.

For the next 2 years I got to know myself, spent lots of time by myself, loving and nurturing myself. I found out what I liked and needed and treated myself to those things (I got very good at being selfish and it felt GREAT!) I also re-established old friendships with women and made new solid ones. We had lots of fun hanging out, dancing, vacationing, talking and being comfortable being girls. Year 3-4, I started an intense inner journey looking at myself from the inside-out. I started looking at my beliefs, attitudes, past relationships, behaviors, feelings and unconscious thoughts. Boy was that interesting! I started journaling a lot and recording all that I found out on paper. I realized lots of reasons I was still remaining single. I uncovered fears and irrational beliefs that was keeping me in the safe place I was remaining.

Year 5 was the big one, As I began to uncover and understand myself better, I began to become interested in dating again, but now I realized I needed to figure out what I really wanted (in a man and a relationship) at this point in my life...I was a bit different now and I needed to discover who would be a great match for me. SO I began a series of exercises and processes to get me to that point. AND then it happened...

I can remember it today...it was December 24th and I was supposed to be in Denver with my family for the holidays, but it was snowing cats and dogs in Denver and my flight had been cancelled here in L.A., so I was home alone impatiently waiting to be called to get a new flight out. i was checking my email AND there it was an email from a internet dating site in my email box. That day changed my life forever.

I read his email and looked for all the important points signs (I teach people how to analyze profiles and emails to insure better prospects and more safety). his grammar was great, he mentioned things he had seen in my profile, he was expressive and polite and kind and so I replied. We exchanged emails for a week or so and then met after the holidays. the rest is all good and we are happily still together today. This happened to me because i did the inner wrk that allowed me to manifest and attract the "right" guy for me according to what i wanted, needed and felt I deserved at this time. I did it so can you!

Stop feeling uncomfortable, stop feeling left out, stop feeling unloved or miserable, You Too can have the Man and Relationship of Your Dreams!

Now if you are SINGLE and you are one of the people I talk to who is happy! Keep doing what you are doing, however if at some point I can imagine you may want a partner to share life with?? That's what happened to me. I traveled by myself and with friends which was cool, I was able to do many things single, however now I choose to be in relationship, I realize now I can work on my intimacy and relationship growth and evolvement much easier when i am in relationship. When I was single I was working on myself in one way, now that I am in partnership I am discovering and growing in a different way.

If you are wanting to change your status from "single" to "in a relationship" this year in 2009, then you may want to check out a great way to do that- is to learn the 7 steps I took in order to attract the Man and relationship of my dreams.

Many of my friends and clients begged me to show them and teach them what I did, so I finally wrote them all down in a book called "The Cinderella System", and now I have a program that I take you through all 7 steps in my book and all the amazingly important exercises and processes that are in the book http://www.TheCinderellaSystemGSLC.com. You see many people were purchasing my book, but they were not doing the exercises, so they were not getting the same result i did! It's like buying a car, but not learning how to drive it! Leaving it in the garage! So I created this program so everyone can get the results I did if they do the reading and exercises.

It's your turn to drive! Your turn to be loved and in love! I want you to be part of being loved and in turn being loving! It;s your natural sate of being, take the first step now http://www.TheCinderellaSystemGSLC.com. I hope you join me!

Let me know how I can support you in living your fairy tale NOW!

I hope my sharing my story has allowed you to be hopeful and take action! You can choose a different story at any point in your life. Choose now! Your new love story is awaiting you! http://www.TheCinderellaSystemGSLC.com

Blessings of Love, Happiness and Success!